You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
