she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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