U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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