That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize