Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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