I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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