im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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