a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize