I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
