I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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