D3 body, D1 cock
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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