how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
