i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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