We're facebook friends in real life
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
