life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish i was in the wii world.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
