Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
