sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize