DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
