just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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