and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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