Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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