i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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