They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
