"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
