it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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