If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
