i would punch a child for taco bell
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
