can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
