walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
