Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
