they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
