it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
