honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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