I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
