lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
