you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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