This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
