You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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