i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
