Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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