I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Operation Purity has been aborted
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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