the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
