Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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