I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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