I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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