Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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