I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
