"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
