Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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