He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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