Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
