Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
