Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize