I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
