Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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