Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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