So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
