Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
