i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
