3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
do herpes really smell.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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