I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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